Tomorrow she would
return to England and to Stibbards. Everything would be as it was, outwardly,
at least. She would not soon be able to forget, perhaps she would not be able
to ever forget the interview in this hateful, gaudy room, with the vulgar,
red plush and gilt furniture, the great mirrors, wreathed with coarse
carvings that rose to the ceiling. Neither of the sisters would influence the
other by one iota. Their tragedy was that neither could forget the other.
Her last bouquet!
What did she mean by that? How could she say anything so absurd?
'Send me her last bouquet!' Kezia Faunce could not get that out of her
excited mind. She, who all her life had never had a posy sent her, to receive
that bouquet which would mean that her sister's life of sin was over! The
idea was as exasperating, as ridiculous as it was hateful.
Miss Faunce left Paris the next day. Her progress to the station was
rendered hateful by constant glimpses of her sister, pretty, provoking, and
elegant, smiling at her in red and black paint from the bill posters. In one
of these she was depicted as holding an enormous cluster of scarlet roses in
a stiff white paper frill, and Miss Faunce, staring at the vivid drawing
which had in the set of the nose and chin a grotesque likeness to herself,
repeated with bitter vexation:
'Her last bouquet! Her last bouquet!'
II
Kezia Faunce lived very well at Stibbards. She had power,
money, position, activities and leisure, and valued all these things exactly
in that order.
There was no one to dispute her authority either in her own household or
in the village; there was no fear of any contradiction either in her
management of the Manor or in her general supervision of her poorer
neighbours' affairs. She was charitable and even kind, for she felt these
things to be virtuous and she had early set herself out to be virtuous. The
fine Palladian Manor House, Tudor timber and bricks, re-fronted with
eighteenth-century stone, classic portico and windows, was far too large for
her, for she lived alone and seldom entertained. But she refused to shut up
any of the rooms and the large staff of servants kept everything as precise
and orderly as if the original number for which the house had been built
still inhabited its spacious wings. And she filled her days that would
otherwise have been sometimes empty and often lonely, by a minute supervision
of all the details of her own household, by a close supervision of all the
affairs of all her servants, tenants, and poorer neighbours.
For years she had led this active, authoritative life with no trouble save
the annoying thought of Martha in Paris, and since she had been to Paris and
seen Martha this thought had grown until it overspread all her days as a
fungus will overspread a healthy tree, seizing on a speck of diseased wood
and growing until there is no sap or vitality in root or branch, and, in the
next Spring, no leaves are put forth.
There was no one to whom Kezia Faunce could speak of her sister, and
therefore she brooded the more deeply day and night on that same personality
that was at once so alien and so much part of herself, leading that other
life so distant from her own, and yet very much a life that would have
expressed something of herself that had never been expressed. It was not
likely that she would ever see her again or that they would ever correspond.
Some day she would read in the paper of the retirement or the death of Mme.
Marcelle Lesarge; possibly of her marriage or her disappearance into a
convent. There was only one thing that Mme. Lesarge, supposing that she ever
looked at an English newspaper, could read of her, and that would be her
death and her burial in the churchyard which was so near Stibbards and where
every other Faunce lay and would lie, except Martha herself.
The estate would go to a distant cousin whose name was not Faunce, and
Kezia's money would go to austere charities. And so the very existence of the
two sisters would be, as it were, wiped off the earth. There would only be
Kezia's name among all her ancestors in the English churchyard, and that
assumed, false name of Marcelle Lesarge in some huge Parisian cemetery. And
Kezia often wondered which of them would die first. Which would read the
notice of the other's death in the paper? And what would it be like for her
to realise that that other self of hers in Paris had ceased to exist, or for
Martha to know that her second half which had stayed at home in Stibbards had
left the familiar rooms empty?
Kezia Faunce tried, often enough, to analyse her feelings towards her
sister, to get, as it were, to the very heart of this dull, envious hatred,
but she could not. Whenever she tried to do so she became both confused and
rebellious. She was quite sure that her scorn for Martha was sincere and that
she despised the kind of woman that Martha was, and yet she was forced to
admit that Martha had had a great deal that she would have liked to have had,
experiences that she would have given much to have enjoyed, adventures that
she would have delighted to have tested.
She believed that Martha felt much the same about her; surely she had seen
regret and envy in those dark, painted eyes under the elegant little hat with
the crimson ostrich feathers!
Martha had regretted, ah, surely, that she had forfeited her status as an
English gentlewoman, that she had no part in Stibbards, and all that
Stibbards meant. She had envied Kezia and the courage which had chosen the
dull, monotonous way, the dignity that had clung to duty, the self-sacrifice,
the austere decorum which would force even the most ribald and light-minded
to respect Miss Kezia Faunce.
This obsession about Martha, which she had hoped a sight of her would
efface, grew, on the contrary, from day to day, until it became almost
unbearable.
'I suppose it will go on for years and years,' she thought, with a sense
of panic, 'I used to think I saw her sitting at table with me, walking beside
me in the garden, and even through the woods and the orchards; meeting me in
the village and coming into my bedroom at night. But I always saw her as I
remembered hera young girl in a muslin frock, doeskin slippers, and
long curls falling from under a chip straw bonnet. Well, I have got rid of
that image, but it has been replaced by another. I see her now as I saw her
in that detestable red plush and gilt drawing-room in the Paris hotel, in
that vulgar interchangeable blue and red silk, in those diamondsyes, I
believe they were realin that lace, I was sure it was genuine, on her
bosom, with her hair dyed and her face painted, and the little hat with the
crimson feather placed so elegantly on her curls; looking, I must confess, no
more than thirty-five, and yet I thought that towards the end of the
interview she looked as old as I do. Yes I see her like that now. It is quite
unescapable. I don't know what I shall do. It must be some kind of an
illness.'
And she wondered passionately if Martha were haunted by her, if Martha, at
the theatre, in her choice little apartment, in her tilbury, driving in the
Bois in the midst of her little supper parties, saw her, Kezia Faunce, in her
plain frock, cut by a provincial dressmaker, with her grey hair in the
chenille net, with her uncared-for complexion and dull eyes, with her keys at
her waist, and her account or receipt book in her hand, going from still-room
to closet, from kitchen to dairy, through all the handsome well-kept, unused
rooms of Stibbards.
'It is grotesque, it is absurd.' With all the force of her strong mind she
endeavoured to shake off the obsession, and threw herself with suppressed and
burning energy into good works.
Her charities, always considerable, became lavish; she gave away blankets
and coals, medicines and foods, until the vicar protested that she was
spoiling his parishioners.
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