Whither go you?

MISTRESS PAGE    Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?

FORD    Ay, and as idle as she may hang together10, for want of

company. I think, if your husbands were dead, you two

would marry.

MISTRESS PAGE    Be sure of that — two other husbands.

FORD    Where had you this pretty weather-cock?

MISTRESS PAGE    I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my15

husband had him of. What do you call your knight’s name,

sirrah?

ROBIN    Sir John Falstaff.

FORD    Sir John Falstaff?

MISTRESS PAGE    He, he. I can never hit on’s name. There is such

a league21 between my good man and he. Is your wife at home

indeed?

FORD    Indeed she is.

MISTRESS PAGE    By your leave, sir, I am sick till I see her.

[Exeunt Mistress Page and Robin]

FORD    Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he

any thinking? Sure they sleep, he hath no use of them. Why,

this boy will carry a letter twenty mile as easy as a cannon

will shoot point-blank twelvescore. He pieces out28 his wife’s

inclination, he gives her folly motion and advantage29. And

now she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her. A

man may hear this shower sing in the wind31. And Falstaff’s

boy with her. Good plots, they are laid, and our revolted32

wives share damnation together. Well, I will take him33, then

torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the

so-seeming Mistress Page, divulge35 Page himself for a secure

and wilful Actaeon36, and to these violent proceedings all my

neighbours shall cry aim37. The clock gives me

A clock strikes

my cue, and my assurance bids me search: there I shall find

Falstaff. I shall be rather praised for this than mocked, for it is

as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is there. I will go.

[Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Evans, Caius and Rugby]

SHALLOW, PAGE and OTHERS    Well met, Master Ford.

FORD    Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer42 at home,

and I pray you all go with me.

SHALLOW    I must excuse myself, Master Ford.

SLENDER    And so must I, sir. We have appointed to dine with

Mistress Anne, and I would not break with46 her for more

money than I’ll speak of.

SHALLOW    We have lingered about a match between Anne

Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our

answer.

SLENDER    I hope I have your good will, father Page.

PAGE    You have, Master Slender, I stand wholly for you.

But my wife, Master Doctor, is for you altogether.

CAIUS    Ay, be-gar, and de maid is love-a me. My nursh-a

Quickly tell me so mush.

HOST    What say you to young Master Fenton?

To Page

He capers57, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses,

he speaks holiday, he smells April and May. He will carry’t58,

he will carry’t, ’tis in his buttons59, he will carry’t.

PAGE    Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is

of no having: he kept company with the wild prince and61

Poins. He is of too high a region62, he knows too much. No, he

shall not knit a knot63 in his fortunes with the finger of my

substance. If he take her, let him take her simply64: the wealth I

have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

FORD    I beseech you heartily, some of you go home with

me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you shall have sport: I will

show you a monster68. Master Doctor, you shall go, so shall

you, Master Page, and you, Sir Hugh.

SHALLOW    Well, fare you well.— We shall have

Aside to Slender

the freer wooing at Master Page’s.

[Exeunt Shallow and Slender]

CAIUS    Go home, John Rugby, I come anon72.

[Exit Rugby]

HOST    Farewell, my hearts73. I will to my honest knight

Falstaff, and drink canary74 with him.

[Exit]

FORD    I think I shall drink in pipe wine75 first with

Aside

him. I’ll make him dance.— Will you go, gentles76?

Aloud

ALL    Have with77 you to see this monster.

Exeunt

Act 3 Scene 3

running scene 10

Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page

MISTRESS FORD    What, John? What, Robert?

MISTRESS PAGE    Quickly, quickly! Is the buck-basket2—

MISTRESS FORD    I warrant. What, Robin, I say!

[Enter John and Robert with a laundry basket]

MISTRESS PAGE    Come, come, come.

MISTRESS FORD    Here, set it down.

MISTRESS PAGE    Give your men the charge6, we must be brief.

MISTRESS FORD    Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be

ready here hard by in the brew-house8, and when I suddenly

call you, come forth, and without any pause or staggering

take this basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it

in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet11

Mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch close by the

Thames side.

MISTRESS PAGE    You will do it?

To John and Robert

MISTRESS FORD    I ha’ told them over and over, they lack no

direction.