Another constructed a deep darkness out of two
brilliant lights. Another made ice in a red-hot furnace. Another
directed the sun to paint his portrait, and the sun did. Another
took this luminary with the moon and the planets, and having first
weighed them with scrupulous accuracy, probed into their depths and
found out the solidity of the substance of which they were made.
But the whole nation is, indeed, of so surprising a necromantic
ability, that not even their infants, nor their commonest cats and
dogs have any difficulty in seeing objects that do not exist at
all, or that for twenty millions of years before the birth of the
nation itself had been blotted out from the face of creation."'
Analogous experiments in respect to sound produce analogous
results.
"Preposterous!" said the king.
"'The wives and daughters of these incomparably great and wise
magi,'" continued Scheherazade, without being in any manner
disturbed by these frequent and most ungentlemanly interruptions on
the part of her husband—"'the wives and daughters of these eminent
conjurers are every thing that is accomplished and refined; and
would be every thing that is interesting and beautiful, but for an
unhappy fatality that besets them, and from which not even the
miraculous powers of their husbands and fathers has, hitherto, been
adequate to save. Some fatalities come in certain shapes, and some
in others—but this of which I speak has come in the shape of a
crotchet.'"
"A what?" said the king.
"'A crotchet'" said Scheherazade. "'One of the evil genii, who
are perpetually upon the watch to inflict ill, has put it into the
heads of these accomplished ladies that the thing which we describe
as personal beauty consists altogether in the protuberance of the
region which lies not very far below the small of the back.
Perfection of loveliness, they say, is in the direct ratio of the
extent of this lump. Having been long possessed of this idea, and
bolsters being cheap in that country, the days have long gone by
since it was possible to distinguish a woman from a
dromedary-'"
"Stop!" said the king—"I can't stand that, and I won't. You have
already given me a dreadful headache with your lies. The day, too,
I perceive, is beginning to break. How long have we been
married?—my conscience is getting to be troublesome again. And then
that dromedary touch—do you take me for a fool? Upon the whole, you
might as well get up and be throttled."
These words, as I learn from the "Isitsoornot," both grieved and
astonished Scheherazade; but, as she knew the king to be a man of
scrupulous integrity, and quite unlikely to forfeit his word, she
submitted to her fate with a good grace. She derived, however,
great consolation, (during the tightening of the bowstring,) from
the reflection that much of the history remained still untold, and
that the petulance of her brute of a husband had reaped for him a
most righteous reward, in depriving him of many inconceivable
adventures.
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