Cotter?" she asked.
"It's bad for children," said old Cotter, "because their minds are so
impressionable. When children see things like that, you know, it has an
effect...."
I crammed my mouth with stirabout for fear I might give utterance to my
anger. Tiresome old red-nosed imbecile!
It was late when I fell asleep. Though I was angry with old Cotter for
alluding to me as a child, I puzzled my head to extract meaning from his
unfinished sentences. In the dark of my room I imagined that I saw again
the heavy grey face of the paralytic. I drew the blankets over my head and
tried to think of Christmas. But the grey face still followed me. It
murmured; and I understood that it desired to confess something. I felt my
soul receding into some pleasant and vicious region; and there again I
found it waiting for me. It began to confess to me in a murmuring voice
and I wondered why it smiled continually and why the lips were so moist
with spittle. But then I remembered that it had died of paralysis and I
felt that I too was smiling feebly as if to absolve the simoniac of his
sin.
The next morning after breakfast I went down to look at the little house
in Great Britain Street. It was an unassuming shop, registered under the
vague name of Drapery. The drapery consisted mainly of children's bootees
and umbrellas; and on ordinary days a notice used to hang in the window,
saying: Umbrellas Re-covered. No notice was visible now for the shutters
were up. A crape bouquet was tied to the door-knocker with ribbon. Two
poor women and a telegram boy were reading the card pinned on the crape. I
also approached and read:
July 1st, 1895
The Rev. James Flynn (formerly of
S. Catherine's
Church, Meath Street),
aged sixty-five years.
R. I. P.
The reading of the card persuaded me that he was dead and I was disturbed
to find myself at check. Had he not been dead I would have gone into the
little dark room behind the shop to find him sitting in his arm-chair by
the fire, nearly smothered in his great-coat. Perhaps my aunt would have
given me a packet of High Toast for him and this present would have roused
him from his stupefied doze. It was always I who emptied the packet into
his black snuff-box for his hands trembled too much to allow him to do
this without spilling half the snuff about the floor. Even as he raised
his large trembling hand to his nose little clouds of smoke dribbled
through his fingers over the front of his coat. It may have been these
constant showers of snuff which gave his ancient priestly garments their
green faded look for the red handkerchief, blackened, as it always was,
with the snuff-stains of a week, with which he tried to brush away the
fallen grains, was quite inefficacious.
I wished to go in and look at him but I had not the courage to knock. I
walked away slowly along the sunny side of the street, reading all the
theatrical advertisements in the shopwindows as I went. I found it strange
that neither I nor the day seemed in a mourning mood and I felt even
annoyed at discovering in myself a sensation of freedom as if I had been
freed from something by his death. I wondered at this for, as my uncle had
said the night before, he had taught me a great deal. He had studied in
the Irish college in Rome and he had taught me to pronounce Latin
properly.
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