The Undercover Mother: A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about love, friendship and parenting
The Undercover Mother
A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about love, friendship and parenting
Emma Robinson
For Mum and Dad.
For everything.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Epilogue
Emma’s Email Sign-Up
A Letter from Emma
Acknowledgements
Chapter One
Preoccupied with checking her phone for a message from her boss, the length of the queue she was in and the question of whether the baby needed one or two giant cookies for breakfast, Jenny didn’t notice the woman’s splayed palms until they landed squarely on her stomach. She jumped so high she nearly lost hold of her sandwich.
‘Look at your beautiful bump! How long have you got?’
Jenny took a small step backwards. ‘Five weeks.’ It wasn’t a problem that the woman was touching The Bump – although a bit of warning might be nice – but there was no time for a conversation about the delights of pregnancy today. Eva was an even-tempered boss, but she hated lateness more than a missing apostrophe, and Jenny needed her in a good mood. She pushed her sandwich along the counter and focused on the jar of cookies. Avoid eye contact. Buy the sandwich. Get to work.
But Queue Woman didn’t get the message. ‘Is this your first one?’
‘Yep.’ Jenny nodded. ‘First one.’
Here came The All-Knowing Smile. She got it a lot now. Why did everyone assume they knew better than her?
‘You’ve certainly got a lot of changes coming your—’ Leaning forward, the woman scrutinised Jenny’s sandwich. ‘Is that bacon and brie?’
Jenny knew what was coming next. ‘Actually, I’ve researched and apparently…’
Queue Woman snatched the sandwich out of her hands, scanned the selection on the counter and replaced it with a ham and cheddar panini. ‘Thank God I was here. You nearly ate soft cheese!’ The Smile again. Accompanied by a shake of the head. ‘Pregnancy brain.’ Leaning down, she stage-whispered at Jenny’s stomach. ‘Silly Mummy.’
Jenny looked at the ceiling. She just wanted to buy a sandwich – and a cookie or two – and get to work. At least in the office people still talked to her face rather than her midriff. They’d enjoyed their joke of pointedly counting off the months since her wedding and had then barely mentioned her pregnancy since.
But now she needed to talk about it. Maternity leave started next week and she still hadn’t been able to pin down her boss about the plan for her column. Eva had evaded her questions, as if the ‘Girl About Town’ articles would write themselves. Admittedly, they wouldn’t need to cover the column for long because Jenny was only going to be off for six months and she’d also pick up some of the work from home once the baby was settled. Writing when it slept.
Queue Woman was back at face level. Frowning.
‘You look tired. Do you need to sit down?’ She lowered her voice. ‘My friend was about your age when she had her first baby and she said it was exhausting.’
Thirty-seven is not old! Jenny bit her tongue. Even her doctor had said her ovaries were chucking out eggs like the last day of the January sales and that she should ‘get on with it’ if she wanted a baby. Just showed how much he knew.
‘No, I’m fine, thanks.
1 comment