The Devil's in't, if an old woman is to be flatter'd further, unless a Man shou'd endeavour downright personally to debauch her; and that my Virtue forbad me. But for the discovery of that Amour, I am Indebted to your Friend, or your Wife's Friend, Mrs. Marwood.

FAINALL. What should provoke her to be your Enemy, without she has made you Advances, which you have slighted? Women do not easily forgive Omissions of that Nature.

MIRABELL. She was always civil to me, till of late; I confess I am not one of those Coxcombs who are apt to interpret a Woman's good Manners to her Prejudice; and think that she who does not refuse 'em every thing, can refuse 'em nothing.

FAINALL. You are a gallant Man, Mirabell; and tho' you may have Cruelty enough, not to satisfie a Lady's longing; you have too much Generosity, not to be tender of her Honour. Yet you speak with an Indifference which seems to be affected; and confesses you are conscious of a Negligence.

MIRABELL. You pursue the Argument with a distrust that seems to be unaffected, and confesses you are conscious of a Concern for which the Lady is more indebted to you, than your Wife.

FAINALL. Fie, fie Friend, if you grow Censorious I must leave you; – I'll look upon the Gamesters in the next Room.

MIRABELL. Who are they?

FAINALL. Petulant and Witwoud. – Bring me some Chocolate.

 

Exit.

 

MIRABELL. Betty, what says your Clock?

BETTY. Turn'd of the last Canonical Hour, Sir.

 

Exit.

 

MIRABELL. How pertinently the Jade answers me! Ha? almost One a Clock! Looking at his Watch. O, y'are come –

 

Enter a Servant.

 

Well, is the grand Affair over? You have been something tedious.

SERVANT. Sir, there's such Coupling at Pancras, that they stand behind one another, as 'twere in a Country Dance. Ours was the last Couple to lead up; and no hopes appearing of dispatch, besides, the Parson growing hoarse, we were afraid his Lungs would have fail'd before it came to our turn; so we drove round to Duke's Place; and there they were riveted in a trice.

MIRABELL. So, so, you are sure they are Married.

SERVANT. Married and Bedded, Sir: I am Witness.

MIRABELL. Have you the Certificate?

SERVANT. Here it is, Sir.

MIRABELL. Has the Taylor brought Waitwell's Cloaths home, and the new Liveries?

SERVANT. Yes, Sir.

MIRABELL. That's well. Do you go home again, d'ee hear, and adjourn the Consummation till farther Order; bid Waitwell shake his Ears, and Dame Partlet rustle up her Feathers, and meet me at One a Clock by Rosamond's Pond. That I may see her before she returns to her Lady; and as you tender your Ears be secret.

Exit Servant.

 

Re-Enter Fainall.

 

FAINALL. Joy of your Success, Mirabell; you look pleas'd.

MIRABELL. Ay; I have been engag'd in a Matter of some sort of Mirth, which is not yet ripe for discovery. I am glad this is not a Cabal-night. I wonder, Fainall, that you who are Married, and of Consequence should be discreet, will suffer your Wife to be of such a Party.

FAINALL.