Faith, I am not Jealous. Besides, most who are engag'd are Women and Relations; and for the Men, they are of a Kind too Contemptible to give Scandal.

MIRABELL. I am of another Opinion. The greater the Coxcomb, always the more the Scandal: For a Woman who is not a Fool, can have but one Reason for associating with a Man that is.

FAINALL. Are you Jealous as often as you see Witwoud entertain'd by Millamant?

MIRABELL. Of her Understanding I am, if not of her Person.

FAINALL. You do her wrong; for to give her her Due, she has Wit.

MIRABELL. She has Beauty enough to make any Man think so; and Complaisance enough not to contradict him who shall tell her so.

FAINALL. For a passionate Lover, methinks you are a Man somewhat too discerning in the Failings of your Mistress.

MIRABELL. And for a discerning Man, somewhat too passionate a Lover; for I like her with all her Faults; nay, like her for her Faults. Her Follies are so natural, or so artful, that they become her; and those Affectations which in another Woman wou'd be odious, serve but to make her more agreeable. I'll tell thee, Fainall, she once us'd me with that Insolence, that in Revenge I took her to pieces; sifted her and separated her Failings; I study'd 'em, and got 'em by rote. The Catalogue was so large, that I was not without hopes, one Day or other to hate her heartily: To which end I so us'd my self to think of 'em, that at length, contrary to my Design and Expectation, they gave me every Hour less and less disturbance; 'till in a few Days it became habitual to me, to remember 'em without being displeas'd. They are now grown as familiar to me as my own Frailties; and in all probability in a little time longer I shall like 'em as well.

FAINALL. Marry her, marry her; be half as well acquainted with her Charms, as you are with her Defects, and my Life on't, you are your own Man again.

MIRABELL. Say you so?

FAINALL. I, I, I have Experience: I have a Wife, and so forth.

 

Enter Messenger.

 

MESSENGER. Is one Squire Witwoud here?

BETTY. Yes; what's your Business?

MESSENGER. I have a Letter for him, from his Brother Sir Wilfull, which I am charg'd to deliver into his own Hands.

BETTY. He's in the next Room, Friend –– That way.

 

Exit Messenger.

 

MIRABELL. What, is the Chief of that noble Family in Town, Sir Wilfull Witwoud?

FAINALL. He is expected to Day. Do you know him?

MIRABELL. I have seen him, he promises to be an extraordinary Person; I think you have the Honour to be related to him.

FAINALL. Yes; he is half Brother to this Witwoud by a former Wife, who was Sister to my Lady Wishfort, my Wife's Mother. If you marry Millamant you must call Cousins too.

MIRABELL. I had rather be his Relation than his Acquaintance.

FAINALL. He comes to Town in order to Equip himself for Travel.

MIRABELL. For Travel! Why the Man that I mean is above Forty.

FAINALL.