Petersburg, but in a distant
provincial town, with an old relative on whom he was entirely
dependent. His position was such that he could hardly dream of ever
getting away from there. He was a man of very poor health, timid,
of limited capacity, but of an extraordinarily pure nature. He did
not interest himself in politics, but read anything that came in
his way, played on the flute as a resource against boredom, and was
afraid of young ladies. Silin was passionately fond of Nejdanov—he
had an affectionate heart in general. Nejdanov did not express
himself to anyone as freely as he did to Vladimir Silin; when
writing to him he felt as if he were communicating to some dear and
intimate soul, dwelling in another world, or to his own conscience.
Nejdanov could not for a moment conceive of the idea of living
together again with Silin, as comrades in the same town. He would
probably have lost interest in him, as there was little in common
between them, but he wrote him long letters gladly with the fullest
confidence. With others, on paper at any rate, he was not himself,
but this never happened when writing to Silin. The latter was not a
master in the art of writing, and responded only in short clumsy
sentences, but Nejdanov had no need of lengthy replies; he knew
quite well that his friend swallowed every word of his, as the dust
in the road swallows each drop of rain, that he would keep his
secrets sacredly, and that in his hopeless solitude he had no other
interests but his, Nejdanov's, interests. He had never told anyone
of his relation with Silin, a relation that was very dear to
him.
"Well, my dear friend, my pure-hearted Vladimir!" Thus he wrote
to him; he always called him pure-hearted, and not without good
cause. "Congratulate me; I have fallen upon green pasture, and can
rest awhile and gather strength. I am living in the house of a rich
statesman, Sipiagin, as tutor to his little son; I eat well (have
never eaten so well in my life!), sleep well, and wander about the
beautiful country—but, above all, I have for a time crept out from
under the wing of my St. Petersburg friends. At first it was
horribly boring, but I feel a bit better now. I shall soon have to
go into harness again, that is, put up with the consequences of
what I have undertaken (the reason I was allowed to come here). For
a time, at any rate, I can enjoy the delights of a purely animal
existence, expand in the waist, and write verses if the mood seizes
me. I will give you my observations another time. The estate seems
to me well managed on the whole, with the exception, perhaps, of
the factory, which is not quite right; some of the peasants are
unapproachable, and the hired servants have servile faces—but we
can talk about these things later on. My host and hostess are
courteous, liberal-minded people; the master is for ever
condescending, and bursts out from time to time in torrents of
eloquence, a most highly cultured person! His lady, a picturesque
beauty, who has all her wits about her, keeps such a close watch on
one, and is so soft! I should think she has not a bone in her body!
I am rather afraid of her, you know what sort of a ladies' man I
make! There are neighbours—but uninteresting ones; then there is an
old lady in the house who makes me feel uncomfortable.... Above
all, I am interested in a certain young lady, but whether she is a
relative or simply a companion here the Lord only knows! I have
scarcely exchanged a couple of words with her, but I feel that we
are birds of a feather..."
Here followed a description of Mariana's personal appearance and
of all her habits; then he continued:
"That she is unhappy, proud, ambitious, reserved, but above all
unhappy, I have not the smallest doubt. But why she is unhappy, I
have as yet failed to discover. That she has an upright nature is
quite evident, but whether she is good-natured or not remains to be
seen. Are there really any good-natured women other than stupid
ones? Is goodness essential? However, I know little about women.
The lady of the house does not like her, and I believe it is mutual
on either side.... But which of them is in the right is difficult
to say. I think that the mistress is probably in the wrong...
because she is so awfully polite to her; the other's brows twitch
nervously when she is speaking to her patroness. She is a most
highly-strong individual, like myself, and is just as easily upset
as I am, although perhaps not in the same way.
"When all this can be disentangled, I will write to you
again.
"She hardly ever speaks to me, as I have already told you, but
in the few words she has addressed to me (always rather sudden and
unexpected) there was a ring of rough sincerity which I liked. By
the way, how long is that relative of yours going to bore you to
death? When is he going to die?
"Have you read the article in the 'European Messenger' about the
latest impostors in the province of Orenburg? It happened in 1834,
my dear! I don't like the journal, and the writer of the article is
a conservative, but the thing is interesting and calculated to give
one ideas..."
IX
MAY had reached its second half; the first hot summer days had
already set in.
After his history lesson one day, Nejdanov wandered out into the
garden, and from thence into a birch wood adjoining it on one side.
Certain parts of this wood had been cleared by merchants about
fifteen years ago, but these clearings were already densely
overgrown by young birches, whose soft silver trunks encircled by
grey rings rose as straight as pillars, and whose bright green
leaves sparkled as if they had just been washed and polished. The
grass shot up in sharp tongues through the even layers of last
years' fallen leaves. Little narrow paths ran here and there, from
which yellow-beaked blackbirds rose with startled cries, flying
close to the earth into the wood as hard as they could go.
After wandering about for half an hour, Nejdanov sat down on the
stump of a tree, surrounded by old greyish splinters, lying in
heaps, exactly as they had fallen when cut down by the axe. Many a
time had these splinters been covered by the winter's snow and been
thawed by the spring sun, but nobody had touched them.
Nejdanov leaned against a solid wall of young birches casting a
heavy though mild shade.
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