YOLO Juliet

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Text copyright © 2015 by Random House LLC

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-0-553-53539-6 (trade) — ISBN 978-0-553-53548-8 (ebook)

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v4.1

a

To Caroline and Michelle ,
for thinking of me

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Who’s Who

Characters You Won’t Meet in This Book

Act 1

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

Scene 4

Scene 5

Act 2

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

Scene 4

Scene 5

Scene 6

Act 3

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

Scene 4

Scene 5

Act 4

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

Scene 4

Scene 5

Act 5

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

The 411 for Those Not in the Know

Some Emotions You Might Find in This Book

About the Authors

FOMO? Read on for a peek at srsly Hamlet

Who’s Who

 

Romeo

Montague, Romeo’s dad

Benvolio, Romeo’s cousin

Balthasar, Romeo’s servant

Juliet

Capulet, Juliet’s dad

Lady Capulet, Juliet’s mom

Nurse, Juliet’s nurse

Tybalt, Juliet’s cousin

The Prince of Verona

Paris, the Prince’s cousin

Mercutio, the Prince’s cousin and Romeo’s friend

Friar Laurence

Father John

Chief Watchman

 

Characters You Won’t Meet in This Book

[aka People w/o Smartphones]

 

Lady Montague, Romeo’s mom

Abram, Romeo’s servant

Petruchio, Tybalt’s friend

Sampson, servant

Gregory, servant

Peter, servant

Paris’s page

Chorus

 

[Scene 1]

Benvolio

Mornin’, cuz! You won’t believe what just happened to me.

I’ve already been in a fight!

It’s the Capulets again. They need to go! Especially Tybalt.

Hello? You there? I told your mom I’d see how you’re doing.

Romeo

What time is it?

Benvolio

Dude. It’s 9 a.m. Wake up!

Romeo

Ugh, that’s it? I don’t wanna. I’m too depressed. I have nothing to live for.

Benvolio

Oh, crap.

Romeo

What?

Benvolio

You’re in , aren’t you?

Romeo

Is it that obvious?

But she doesn’t love me back.

Benvolio

Cuz, here’s the thing. Love sux.

I mean, on it sounds great. But feeling it? No TY.

Romeo

Tell me about it. But it has this sick control over me.

I can’t help it! Love is everything in the —awesome and stupid. Blech.

Anyway, sorry. What happened this morning? A fight?

Benvolio

Romeo

Why are you sad?

Benvolio

I’m bummed that you’re bummed.

Romeo

K, I can’t handle this. You’re just gonna make me feel worse. TTYL.

Benvolio

C’mon, wait! At least tell me who the girl is.

Romeo

Srsly?

She’s hot, that’s all you need to know. Not just hot, but beautiful. And smart. But she doesn’t love me, so who cares?

Benvolio

Listen, just don’t think about her anymore.

Romeo

WTF? How?

Benvolio

There are plenty of other in the dude. Focus on someone else.

Romeo

That’s not gonna work. Other girls just make me think about her more.