Come with me. We have to do this quickly. I’m not leaving you two alone until you’re officially married. —FL

[Scene 1]

Benvolio

Let’s call it a day, Mercutio. It’s hot outside. And the Capulets are wandering around. I don’t want to run into them and get into a fight. Heat makes people .

Mercutio

Oh, plz, Ben. Ur one of those guys who has a sword but never uses it. N then u pull it out 4 no reason at all.

Benvolio

Nuh-uh. Am I really?

Mercutio

U get at the smallest things. N yet ur the one telling me about restraint? Y’okay.

Benvolio

Ugh, hold on. The Capulets are texting me.

Mercutio

IDGAF.

Group text: Benvolio, Mercutio, Tybalt

Benvolio

Adding Mercutio here.

Mercutio

Wut is it, Ty?

Tybalt

Good afternoon, boys. I’d like to have a word with you.

Mercutio

Psh. Just 1?

Tybalt

Mercutio, you hang out with Romeo, right?

Mercutio

Hang out? Like we’re in a band?

Benvolio

Do we have to talk about this now? Maybe we should meet in person.

Tybalt

Yes, we have to talk about it. In fact, let’s get Romeo in on this.

Group text: Tybalt, Mercutio, Benvolio, Romeo

Tybalt

Romeo, there’s only one thing I can call you: a villain.

Romeo

Tybalt, I’m not even gonna sweat that. I have a reason to like you now. Plus, it’s obvs you don’t know me at all.

Tybalt

That doesn’t excuse what you’ve done to me. We’re fighting this afternoon. Meet me on the streets.

Romeo

I haven’t done anything to you. And I you now—I just can’t tell you why yet. Let’s not fight.

Mercutio

Romeo, wut r u doing? Y r u backing down from him? If u won’t fight him, I will.

Tybalt

What do you want from me?

Mercutio

2 fight u. Now.

Ty, hurry up n draw ur sword.

Tybalt

Fine. If that’s what you want, that’s what you get.

Romeo

Mercutio, stop! What are you doing? Ben, we’ve got to stop them.