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Helen Ambrose’s husband, Ridley, is a version of Leslie, similarly self-absorbed but far less demanding; and some aspects of Virginia’s complicated feelings about Julia—rage and romance prominent among them—may have informed the invention of Clarissa Dalloway, that shimmering vision of aloof sophistication who appears, enchants, and vanishes.
When Virginia was thirteen Julia died of rheumatic fever and, more ambiguously, of the incessant strain that accrued from having been married to Leslie. She was just forty-nine. The day after Julia’s death, when Virginia was taken in to see the body, she believed she saw a man sitting on the edge of her deceased mother’s bed. Although she recorded no details about the hallucination (she was half convinced she’d simply pretended to hallucinate, to draw attention to herself) one thinks of Rachel’s dream in The Voyage Out, in which she finds herself “… a
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