Setting buoyantly forth, therefore, as if
no rival less swift than Atalanta could compete with her, she ran
falteringly, and often tumbled on the grass. Such an
incident—though it seems too slight to think of—was a thing to
laugh at, but which brought the water into one's eyes, and lingered
in the memory after far greater joys and sorrows were wept out of
it, as antiquated trash. Priscilla's life, as I beheld it, was full
of trifles that affected me in just this way.
When she had come to be quite at home among us, I used to fancy
that Priscilla played more pranks, and perpetrated more mischief,
than any other girl in the Community. For example, I once heard
Silas Foster, in a very gruff voice, threatening to rivet three
horseshoes round Priscilla's neck and chain her to a post, because
she, with some other young people, had clambered upon a load of
hay, and caused it to slide off the cart. How she made her peace I
never knew; but very soon afterwards I saw old Silas, with his
brawny hands round Priscilla's waist, swinging her to and fro, and
finally depositing her on one of the oxen, to take her first
lessons in riding. She met with terrible mishaps in her efforts to
milk a cow; she let the poultry into the garden; she generally
spoilt whatever part of the dinner she took in charge; she broke
crockery; she dropt our biggest water pitcher into the well;
and—except with her needle, and those little wooden instruments for
purse-making—was as unserviceable a member of society as any young
lady in the land. There was no other sort of efficiency about her.
Yet everybody was kind to Priscilla; everybody loved her and
laughed at her to her face, and did not laugh behind her back;
everybody would have given her half of his last crust, or the
bigger share of his plum-cake. These were pretty certain
indications that we were all conscious of a pleasant weakness in
the girl, and considered her not quite able to look after her own
interests or fight her battle with the world. And
Hollingsworth—perhaps because he had been the means of introducing
Priscilla to her new abode—appeared to recognize her as his own
especial charge.
Her simple, careless, childish flow of spirits often made me
sad. She seemed to me like a butterfly at play in a flickering bit
of sunshine, and mistaking it for a broad and eternal summer. We
sometimes hold mirth to a stricter accountability than sorrow; it
must show good cause, or the echo of its laughter comes back
drearily. Priscilla's gayety, moreover, was of a nature that showed
me how delicate an instrument she was, and what fragile
harp-strings were her nerves. As they made sweet music at the
airiest touch, it would require but a stronger one to burst them
all asunder. Absurd as it might be, I tried to reason with her, and
persuade her not to be so joyous, thinking that, if she would draw
less lavishly upon her fund of happiness, it would last the longer.
I remember doing so, one summer evening, when we tired laborers sat
looking on, like Goldsmith's old folks under the village
thorn-tree, while the young people were at their sports.
"What is the use or sense of being so very gay?" I said to
Priscilla, while she was taking breath, after a great frolic. "I
love to see a sufficient cause for everything, and I can see none
for this. Pray tell me, now, what kind of a world you imagine this
to be, which you are so merry in."
"I never think about it at all," answered Priscilla, laughing.
"But this I am sure of, that it is a world where everybody is kind
to me, and where I love everybody. My heart keeps dancing within
me, and all the foolish things which you see me do are only the
motions of my heart. How can I be dismal, if my heart will not let
me?"
"Have you nothing dismal to remember?" I suggested. "If not,
then, indeed, you are very fortunate!"
"Ah!" said Priscilla slowly.
And then came that unintelligible gesture, when she seemed to be
listening to a distant voice.
"For my part," I continued, beneficently seeking to overshadow
her with my own sombre humor, "my past life has been a tiresome one
enough; yet I would rather look backward ten times than forward
once. For, little as we know of our life to come, we may be very
sure, for one thing, that the good we aim at will not be attained.
People never do get just the good they seek. If it come at all, it
is something else, which they never dreamed of, and did not
particularly want. Then, again, we may rest certain that our
friends of to-day will not be our friends of a few years hence;
but, if we keep one of them, it will be at the expense of the
others; and most probably we shall keep none. To be sure, there are
more to be had; but who cares about making a new set of friends,
even should they be better than those around us?"
"Not I!" said Priscilla. "I will live and die with these!"
"Well; but let the future go," resumed I. "As for the present
moment, if we could look into the hearts where we wish to be most
valued, what should you expect to see? One's own likeness, in the
innermost, holiest niche? Ah! I don't know! It may not be there at
all. It may be a dusty image, thrust aside into a corner, and by
and by to be flung out of doors, where any foot may trample upon
it. If not to-day, then to-morrow! And so, Priscilla, I do not see
much wisdom in being so very merry in this kind of a world."
It had taken me nearly seven years of worldly life to hive up
the bitter honey which I here offered to Priscilla. And she
rejected it!
"I don't believe one word of what you say!" she replied,
laughing anew. "You made me sad, for a minute, by talking about the
past; but the past never comes back again. Do we dream the same
dream twice? There is nothing else that I am afraid of."
So away she ran, and fell down on the green grass, as it was
often her luck to do, but got up again, without any harm.
"Priscilla, Priscilla!" cried Hollingsworth, who was sitting on
the doorstep; "you had better not run any more to-night.
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