"Ursula does a lot for me: I live on her for
half the year. This dress I've got on now is one she gave me. Her
motor is going to take me to a dinner to-night. I'm going to spend
next summer with her at Newport.... If I don't, I've got to go to
California with the Bockheimers-so good-bye."
Suddenly in tears, she was out of the door and down his steep
three flights before he could stop her—though, in thinking it over,
she didn't even remember if he had tried to. She only recalled
having stood a long time on the corner of Fifth Avenue, in the
harsh winter radiance, waiting till a break in the torrent of
motors laden with fashionable women should let her cross, and
saying to herself: "After all, I might have promised Ursula... and
kept on seeing him...."
Instead of which, when Lansing wrote the next day entreating a
word with her, she had sent back a friendly but firm refusal; and
had managed soon afterward to get taken to Canada for a fortnight's
ski-ing, and then to Florida for six weeks in a house-boat....
As she reached this point in her retrospect the remembrance of
Florida called up a vision of moonlit waters, magnolia fragrance
and balmy airs; merging with the circumambient sweetness, it laid a
drowsy spell upon her lids. Yes, there had been a bad moment: but
it was over; and she was here, safe and blissful, and with Nick;
and this was his knee her head rested on, and they had a year ahead
of them... a whole year.... "Not counting the pearls," she
murmured, shutting her eyes....
II.
LANSING threw the end of Strefford's expensive cigar into the
lake, and bent over his wife. Poor child! She had fallen asleep....
He leaned back and stared up again at the silver-flooded sky. How
queer—how inexpressibly queer—it was to think that that light was
shed by his honey-moon! A year ago, if anyone had predicted his
risking such an adventure, he would have replied by asking to be
locked up at the first symptoms....
There was still no doubt in his mind that the adventure was a
mad one. It was all very well for Susy to remind him twenty times a
day that they had pulled it off—and so why should he worry? Even in
the light of her far-seeing cleverness, and of his own present
bliss, he knew the future would not bear the examination of sober
thought. And as he sat there in the summer moonlight, with her head
on his knee, he tried to recapitulate the successive steps that had
landed them on Streffy's lake-front.
On Lansing's side, no doubt, it dated back to his leaving
Harvard with the large resolve not to miss anything. There stood
the evergreen Tree of Life, the Four Rivers flowing from its foot;
and on every one of the four currents he meant to launch his little
skiff. On two of them he had not gone very far, on the third he had
nearly stuck in the mud; but the fourth had carried him to the very
heart of wonder. It was the stream of his lively imagination, of
his inexhaustible interest in every form of beauty and strangeness
and folly. On this stream, sitting in the stout little craft of his
poverty, his insignificance and his independence, he had made some
notable voyages.... And so, when Susy Branch, whom he had sought
out through a New York season as the prettiest and most amusing
girl in sight, had surprised him with the contradictory revelation
of her modern sense of expediency and her old-fashioned standard of
good faith, he had felt an irresistible desire to put off on one
more cruise into the unknown.
It was of the essence of the adventure that, after her one brief
visit to his lodgings, he should have kept his promise and not
tried to see her again. Even if her straightforwardness had not
roused his emulation, his understanding of her difficulties would
have moved his pity. He knew on how frail a thread the popularity
of the penniless hangs, and how miserably a girl like Susy was the
sport of other people's moods and whims. It was a part of his
difficulty and of hers that to get what they liked they so often
had to do what they disliked. But the keeping of his promise was a
greater bore than he had expected. Susy Branch had become a
delightful habit in a life where most of the fixed things were
dull, and her disappearance had made it suddenly clear to him that
his resources were growing more and more limited. Much that had
once amused him hugely now amused him less, or not at all: a good
part of his world of wonder had shrunk to a village peep-show. And
the things which had kept their stimulating power—distant journeys,
the enjoyment of art, the contact with new scenes and strange
societies—were becoming less and less attainable. Lansing had never
had more than a pittance; he had spent rather too much of it in his
first plunge into life, and the best he could look forward to was a
middle-age of poorly-paid hack-work, mitigated by brief and frugal
holidays. He knew that he was more intelligent than the average,
but he had long since concluded that his talents were not
marketable. Of the thin volume of sonnets which a friendly
publisher had launched for him, just seventy copies had been sold;
and though his essay on "Chinese Influences in Greek Art" had
created a passing stir, it had resulted in controversial
correspondence and dinner invitations rather than in more
substantial benefits. There seemed, in short, no prospect of his
ever earning money, and his restricted future made him attach an
increasing value to the kind of friendship that Susy Branch had
given him.
1 comment