Apart from the pleasure of looking at her and listening
to her—of enjoying in her what others less discriminatingly but as
liberally appreciated—he had the sense, between himself and her, of
a kind of free-masonry of precocious tolerance and irony. They had
both, in early youth, taken the measure of the world they happened
to live in: they knew just what it was worth to them and for what
reasons, and the community of these reasons lent to their intimacy
its last exquisite touch. And now, because of some jealous whim of
a dissatisfied fool of a woman, as to whom he felt himself no more
to blame than any young man who has paid for good dinners by good
manners, he was to be deprived of the one complete companionship he
had ever known....
His thoughts travelled on. He recalled the long dull spring in
New York after his break with Susy, the weary grind on his last
articles, his listless speculations as to the cheapest and least
boring way of disposing of the summer; and then the amazing luck of
going, reluctantly and at the last minute, to spend a Sunday with
the poor Nat Fulmers, in the wilds of New Hampshire, and of finding
Susy there—Susy, whom he had never even suspected of knowing
anybody in the Fulmers' set!
She had behaved perfectly—and so had he—but they were obviously
much too glad to see each other. And then it was unsettling to be
with her in such a house as the Fulmers', away from the large
setting of luxury they were both used to, in the cramped cottage
where their host had his studio in the verandah, their hostess
practiced her violin in the dining-room, and five ubiquitous
children sprawled and shouted and blew trumpets and put tadpoles in
the water-jugs, and the mid-day dinner was two hours late-and
proportionately bad—because the Italian cook was posing for
Fulmer.
Lansing's first thought had been that meeting Susy in such
circumstances would be the quickest way to cure them both of their
regrets. The case of the Fulmers was an awful object-lesson in what
happened to young people who lost their heads; poor Nat, whose
pictures nobody bought, had gone to seed so terribly-and Grace, at
twenty-nine, would never again be anything but the woman of whom
people say, "I can remember her when she was lovely."
But the devil of it was that Nat had never been such good
company, or Grace so free from care and so full of music; and that,
in spite of their disorder and dishevelment, and the bad food and
general crazy discomfort, there was more amusement to be got out of
their society than out of the most opulently staged house-party
through which Susy and Lansing had ever yawned their way.
It was almost a relief to tile young man when, on the second
afternoon, Miss Branch drew him into the narrow hall to say: "I
really can't stand the combination of Grace's violin and little
Nat's motor-horn any longer. Do let us slip out till the duet is
over."
"How do they stand it, I wonder?" he basely echoed, as he
followed her up the wooded path behind the house.
"It might be worth finding out," she rejoined with a musing
smile.
But he remained resolutely skeptical. "Oh, give them a year or
two more and they'll collapse—! His pictures will never sell, you
know. He'll never even get them into a show."
"I suppose not. And she'll never have time to do anything worth
while with her music."
They had reached a piny knoll high above the ledge on which the
house was perched. All about them stretched an empty landscape of
endless featureless wooded hills. "Think of sticking here all the
year round!" Lansing groaned.
"I know. But then think of wandering over the world with some
people!"
"Oh, Lord, yes. For instance, my trip to India with the Mortimer
Hickses. But it was my only chance and what the deuce is one to
do?"
"I wish I knew!" she sighed, thinking of the Bockheimers; and he
turned and looked at her.
"Knew what?"
"The answer to your question. What is one to do—when one sees
both sides of the problem? Or every possible side of it,
indeed?"
They had seated themselves on a commanding rock under the pines,
but Lansing could not see the view at their feet for the stir of
the brown lashes on her cheek.
"You mean: Nat and Grace may after all be having the best of
it?"
"How can I say, when I've told you I see all the sides? Of
course," Susy added hastily, "I couldn't live as they do for a
week. But it's wonderful how little it's dimmed them."
"Certainly Nat was never more coruscating. And she keeps it up
even better." He reflected. "We do them good, I daresay."
"Yes—or they us. I wonder which?"
After that, he seemed to remember that they sat a long time
silent, and that his next utterance was a boyish outburst against
the tyranny of the existing order of things, abruptly followed by
the passionate query why, since he and she couldn't alter it, and
since they both had the habit of looking at facts as they were,
they wouldn't be utter fools not to take their chance of being
happy in the only way that was open to them, To this challenge he
did not recall Susy's making any definite answer; but after another
interval, in which all the world seemed framed in a sudden kiss, he
heard her murmur to herself in a brooding tone: "I don't suppose
it's ever been tried before; but we might—." And then and there she
had laid before him the very experiment they had since
hazarded.
She would have none of surreptitious bliss, she began by
declaring; and she set forth her reasons with her usual lucid
impartiality. In the first place, she should have to marry some
day, and when she made the bargain she meant it to be an honest
one; and secondly, in the matter of love, she would never give
herself to anyone she did not really care for, and if such
happiness ever came to her she did not want it shorn of half its
brightness by the need of fibbing and plotting and dodging.
"I've seen too much of that kind of thing. Half the women I know
who've had lovers have had them for the fun of sneaking and lying
about it; but the other half have been miserable. And I should be
miserable."
It was at this point that she unfolded her plan. Why shouldn't
they marry; belong to each other openly and honourably, if for ever
so short a time, and with the definite understanding that whenever
either of them got the chance to do better he or she should be
immediately released? The law of their country facilitated such
exchanges, and society was beginning to view them as indulgently as
the law. As Susy talked, she warmed to her theme and began to
develop its endless possibilities.
"We should really, in a way, help more than we should hamper
each other," she ardently explained. "We both know the ropes so
well; what one of us didn't see the other might—in the way of
opportunities, I mean. And then we should be a novelty as married
people. We're both rather unusually popular—why not be frank!—and
it's such a blessing for dinner-givers to be able to count on a
couple of whom neither one is a blank. Yes, I really believe we
should be more than twice the success we are now; at least," she
added with a smile, "if there's that amount of room for
improvement. I don't know how you feel; a man's popularity is so
much less precarious than a girl's—but I know it would furbish me
up tremendously to reappear as a married woman." She glanced away
from him down the long valley at their feet, and added in a lower
tone: "And I should like, just for a little while, to feel I had
something in life of my very own—something that nobody had lent me,
like a fancy-dress or a motor or an opera cloak."
The suggestion, at first, had seemed to Lansing as mad as it was
enchanting: it had thoroughly frightened him.
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