Thou hadst need send for more
money.
SIR ANDREW If I cannot recover your niece, I am a foul way out.166
SIR TOBY Send for money, knight. If thou hast her not
i’th’end, call me cut.168
SIR ANDREW If I do not, never trust me, take it how you will.
SIR TOBY Come, come, I’ll go burn some sack.170 ’Tis too late to
go to bed now. Come, knight, come, knight.
Exeunt
Act 2 Scene 4
running scene 9
Enter Duke [Orsino], Viola, Curio and others
ORSINO Give me some music.— Now, good morrow, friends.
Now, good Cesario, but2 that piece of song,
That old and antique3 song we heard last night;
Methought it did relieve my passion4 much,
More than light airs and recollected terms5
Of these most brisk and giddy-pacèd times.
Come, but one verse.
CURIO He is not here, so please your lordship, that should
sing it.
ORSINO Who was it?
CURIO Feste, the jester, my lord; a fool that the lady Olivia’s
father took much delight in. He is about the house.
ORSINO Seek him out, and play the tune the while.13
[Exit Curio]
Music plays
Come hither, boy. If ever thou shalt love,
In the sweet pangs of it remember me,
For such as I am, all true lovers are:
Unstaid and skittish in all motions else17,
Save in the constant18 image of the creature
That is beloved. How dost thou like this tune?
VIOLA It gives a very echo to the seat20
Where love is throned.
ORSINO Thou dost speak masterly.22
My life upon’t, young though thou art, thine eye
Hath stayed upon some favour24 that it loves:
Hath it not, boy?
VIOLA A little, by your favour.26
ORSINO What kind of woman is’t?
VIOLA Of your complexion.
ORSINO She is not worth thee, then. What years, i’faith?
VIOLA About your years, my lord.
ORSINO Too old by heaven. Let still31 the woman take
An elder than herself, so wears she32 to him,
So sways she level33 in her husband’s heart.
For, boy, however we do praise ourselves,
Our fancies35 are more giddy and unfirm,
More longing, wavering, sooner lost and worn36,
Than women’s are.
VIOLA I think it well38, my lord.
ORSINO Then let thy love be younger than thyself,
Or thy affection cannot hold the bent40,
For women are as roses, whose fair flower
Being once displayed42, doth fall that very hour.
VIOLA And so they are. Alas, that they are so.
To die, even when they to perfection grow!
Enter Curio and Clown [Feste]
To Feste
ORSINO O, fellow, come, the song we had last night.—
Mark it47, Cesario, it is old and plain;
The spinsters48 and the knitters in the sun
And the free maids that weave their thread with bones49
Do use to chant it. It is silly sooth49,
And dallies50 with the innocence of love,
Like the old age.51
FESTE Are you ready, sir?
Music
ORSINO I prithee sing.
FESTE
The song
Sings
Come away54, come away, death,
And in sad cypress55 let me be laid.
Fly away, fly away, breath,
I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
My shroud of white, stuck all with yew58,
O, prepare it!
My part of death, no one so true60
Did share it.
Not a flower, not a flower, sweet
On my black coffin let there be strewn.63
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown.
A thousand thousand sighs to save,
Lay me, O, where
Sad true lover never find my grave,
To weep there!
ORSINO There’s for thy pains.
FESTE No pains, sir. I take pleasure in singing, sir.
ORSINO I’ll pay thy pleasure then.
FESTE Truly, sir, and pleasure will be paid73, one time or
another.
ORSINO Give me now leave to leave75 thee.
FESTE Now, the melancholy god76 protect thee, and the
tailor make thy doublet of changeable taffeta77, for thy mind is
a very opal. I would have men of such constancy78 put to sea,
that their business might be everything and their intent79
everywhere, for that’s it that always makes a good voyage of80
nothing. Farewell.
Exit
Curio and Attendants stand aside
ORSINO Let all the rest give place.82
Once more, Cesario,
Get thee to yond same sovereign cruelty:
Tell her my love, more noble than the world,
Prizes not quantity of dirty85 lands.
The parts86 that fortune hath bestowed upon her
Tell her, I hold as giddily as fortune.87
But ’tis that miracle and queen of gems88
That nature pranks89 her in attracts my soul.
VIOLA But if she cannot love you, sir?
ORSINO I cannot be so answered.
VIOLA Sooth, but you must.
Say that some lady, as perhaps there is,
Hath for your love as great a pang of heart
As you have for Olivia: you cannot love her.
You tell her so. Must she not then be answered?96
ORSINO There is no woman’s sides
Can bide98 the beating of so strong a passion
As love doth give my heart, no woman’s heart
So big, to hold so much. They lack retention.100
Alas, their love may be called appetite101,
No motion of the liver, but the palate102,
That suffer surfeit, cloyment and revolt.103
But mine104 is all as hungry as the sea,
And can digest as much. Make no compare105
Between that love a woman can bear me
And that I owe107 Olivia.
VIOLA Ay, but I know—
ORSINO What dost thou know?
VIOLA Too well what love women to men may owe:
In faith, they are as true of heart as we.
My father had a daughter loved a man,
As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman,
I should your lordship.
ORSINO And what’s her history?115
VIOLA A blank, my lord. She never told her love,
But let concealment, like a worm i’th’bud,
Feed on her damask118 cheek: she pined in thought,
And with a green and yellow119 melancholy
She sat like patience on a monument120,
Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?
We men may say more, swear more, but indeed
Our shows are more than will, for still123 we prove
Much in our vows, but little in our love.
ORSINO But died thy sister of her love, my boy?
VIOLA I am all the daughters of my father’s house,
And all the brothers too, and yet I know not.
Sir, shall I to128 this lady?
ORSINO Ay, that’s the theme.
Gives a jewel
To her in haste: give her this jewel: say
My love can give no place, bide no denay.131
Exeunt
Act 2 Scene 5
running scene 10
Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Fabian
SIR TOBY Come thy ways1, Signior Fabian.
FABIAN Nay, I’ll come. If I lose a scruple2 of this sport, let me
be boiled3 to death with melancholy.
SIR TOBY Wouldst thou not be glad to have the niggardly4
rascally sheep-biter5 come by some notable shame?
FABIAN I would exult, man. You know he brought me out
o’favour with my lady about a bear-baiting7 here.
SIR TOBY To anger him we’ll have the bear again, and we will
fool him black and blue.9 Shall we not, Sir Andrew?
SIR ANDREW An we do not, it is pity of our lives.10
Enter Maria
To Maria
SIR TOBY Here comes the little villain.— How now,
my metal of India?12
MARIA Get ye all three into the box-tree13: Malvolio’s coming
down this walk.14 He has been yonder i’the sun practising
behaviour15 to his own shadow this half hour. Observe him,
for the love of mockery, for I know this letter will make a
They hide
contemplative idiot of him. Close17, in the name of
jesting! Lie thou there, for here comes the trout that must be
caught with tickling.19
Puts a letter on the ground
Exit
↓Sir Toby and the others are not heard by Malvolio↓
Enter Malvolio
MALVOLIO ’Tis but fortune, all is fortune. Maria once told me
she did affect me, and I have heard herself come thus near21,
that should she fancy22, it should be one of my complexion.
Besides, she uses23 me with a more exalted respect than
anyone else that follows24 her. What should I think on’t?
SIR TOBY Here’s an overweening25 rogue!
FABIAN O, peace! Contemplation makes a rare turkey-cock26
of him. How he jets under his advanced plumes!27
SIR ANDREW ’Slight28, I could so beat the rogue!
SIR TOBY Peace, I say.
MALVOLIO To be Count Malvolio!
SIR TOBY Ah, rogue!
SIR ANDREW Pistol32 him, pistol him.
SIR TOBY Peace, peace!
MALVOLIO There is example for’t: the lady of the Strachy34
married the yeoman of the wardrobe.35
SIR ANDREW Fie on him, Jezebel!36
FABIAN O, peace! Now he’s deeply in37: look how imagination
blows him.38
MALVOLIO Having been three months married to her, sitting in
my state40—
SIR TOBY O, for a stone-bow41 to hit him in the eye!
MALVOLIO Calling my officers about me, in my branched42 velvet
gown, having come from a daybed43, where I have left Olivia
sleeping—
SIR TOBY Fire and brimstone!
FABIAN O, peace, peace!
MALVOLIO And then to have the humour of state47, and after a
demure travel of regard48, telling them I know my place as I
would they should do theirs, to ask for my kinsman Toby49—
SIR TOBY Bolts and shackles!50
FABIAN O peace, peace, peace! Now, now.
MALVOLIO Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make52
out for him. I frown the while, and perchance53 wind up my
watch, or play with my—54 some rich jewel. Toby approaches;
curtsies55 there to me—
SIR TOBY Shall this fellow live?
FABIAN Though our silence be drawn from us with cars57, yet
peace.
MALVOLIO I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my
familiar smile with an austere regard of control60—
SIR TOBY And does not Toby take61 you a blow o’the lips then?
MALVOLIO Saying, ‘Cousin62 Toby, my fortunes having cast me
on your niece give me this prerogative63 of speech’—
SIR TOBY What, what?
MALVOLIO ‘You must amend your drunkenness.’
SIR TOBY Out, scab!66
FABIAN Nay, patience, or we break the sinews67 of our plot.
MALVOLIO ‘Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a
foolish knight’—
SIR ANDREW That’s me, I warrant you.
MALVOLIO ‘One Sir Andrew’–
SIR ANDREW I knew ’twas I, for many do call me fool.
Picks up the letter
MALVOLIO What employment73 have we here?
FABIAN Now is the woodcock near the gin.74
SIR TOBY O, peace! And the spirit of humours intimate75
reading aloud to him.
MALVOLIO By my life, this is my lady’s hand77 these be her very
C’s, her U’s and her T’s, and thus makes she her great P’s.78 It
is in contempt of79 question her hand.
SIR ANDREW Her C’s, her U’s and her T’s. Why that?
Reads
MALVOLIO ‘To the unknown beloved, this, and my good
wishes.’ Her very phrases! By your leave, wax. Soft! And the
impressure her Lucrece, with which she uses to seal.83 ’Tis my
lady. To whom should this be?
FABIAN This wins him, liver85 and all.
Reads
MALVOLIO ‘Jove knows I love,
But who?
Lips, do not move.
No man must know.’
‘No man must know.’ What follows? The numbers altered!90
‘No man must know.’ If this should be thee, Malvolio?
SIR TOBY Marry, hang thee, brock!92
Reads
MALVOLIO ‘I may command where I adore,
But silence, like a Lucrece knife94,
With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore:
M.O.A.I. doth sway96 my life.’
FABIAN A fustian97 riddle!
SIR TOBY Excellent wench, say I.
MALVOLIO ‘M.O.A.I.
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