Thou hadst need send for more

money.

SIR ANDREW    If I cannot recover your niece, I am a foul way out.166

SIR TOBY    Send for money, knight. If thou hast her not

i’th’end, call me cut.168

SIR ANDREW    If I do not, never trust me, take it how you will.

SIR TOBY    Come, come, I’ll go burn some sack.170 ’Tis too late to

go to bed now. Come, knight, come, knight.

Exeunt

Act 2 Scene 4

running scene 9

Enter Duke [Orsino], Viola, Curio and others

ORSINO    Give me some music.— Now, good morrow, friends.

Now, good Cesario, but2 that piece of song,

That old and antique3 song we heard last night;

Methought it did relieve my passion4 much,

More than light airs and recollected terms5

Of these most brisk and giddy-pacèd times.

Come, but one verse.

CURIO    He is not here, so please your lordship, that should

sing it.

ORSINO    Who was it?

CURIO    Feste, the jester, my lord; a fool that the lady Olivia’s

father took much delight in. He is about the house.

ORSINO    Seek him out, and play the tune the while.13

[Exit Curio]

Music plays

Come hither, boy. If ever thou shalt love,

In the sweet pangs of it remember me,

For such as I am, all true lovers are:

Unstaid and skittish in all motions else17,

Save in the constant18 image of the creature

That is beloved. How dost thou like this tune?

VIOLA    It gives a very echo to the seat20

Where love is throned.

ORSINO    Thou dost speak masterly.22

My life upon’t, young though thou art, thine eye

Hath stayed upon some favour24 that it loves:

Hath it not, boy?

VIOLA    A little, by your favour.26

ORSINO    What kind of woman is’t?

VIOLA    Of your complexion.

ORSINO    She is not worth thee, then. What years, i’faith?

VIOLA    About your years, my lord.

ORSINO    Too old by heaven. Let still31 the woman take

An elder than herself, so wears she32 to him,

So sways she level33 in her husband’s heart.

For, boy, however we do praise ourselves,

Our fancies35 are more giddy and unfirm,

More longing, wavering, sooner lost and worn36,

Than women’s are.

VIOLA    I think it well38, my lord.

ORSINO    Then let thy love be younger than thyself,

Or thy affection cannot hold the bent40,

For women are as roses, whose fair flower

Being once displayed42, doth fall that very hour.

VIOLA    And so they are. Alas, that they are so.

To die, even when they to perfection grow!

Enter Curio and Clown [Feste]

To Feste

ORSINO    O, fellow, come, the song we had last night.—

Mark it47, Cesario, it is old and plain;

The spinsters48 and the knitters in the sun

And the free maids that weave their thread with bones49

Do use to chant it. It is silly sooth49,

And dallies50 with the innocence of love,

Like the old age.51

FESTE    Are you ready, sir?

Music

ORSINO    I prithee sing.

FESTE

The song

Sings

Come away54, come away, death,

And in sad cypress55 let me be laid.

Fly away, fly away, breath,

I am slain by a fair cruel maid.

My shroud of white, stuck all with yew58,

O, prepare it!

My part of death, no one so true60

Did share it.

Not a flower, not a flower, sweet

On my black coffin let there be strewn.63

Not a friend, not a friend greet

My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown.

A thousand thousand sighs to save,

Lay me, O, where

Sad true lover never find my grave,

To weep there!

ORSINO    There’s for thy pains.

FESTE    No pains, sir. I take pleasure in singing, sir.

ORSINO    I’ll pay thy pleasure then.

FESTE    Truly, sir, and pleasure will be paid73, one time or

another.

ORSINO    Give me now leave to leave75 thee.

FESTE    Now, the melancholy god76 protect thee, and the

tailor make thy doublet of changeable taffeta77, for thy mind is

a very opal. I would have men of such constancy78 put to sea,

that their business might be everything and their intent79

everywhere, for that’s it that always makes a good voyage of80

nothing. Farewell.

Exit

Curio and Attendants stand aside

ORSINO    Let all the rest give place.82

               Once more, Cesario,

Get thee to yond same sovereign cruelty:

Tell her my love, more noble than the world,

Prizes not quantity of dirty85 lands.

The parts86 that fortune hath bestowed upon her

Tell her, I hold as giddily as fortune.87

But ’tis that miracle and queen of gems88

That nature pranks89 her in attracts my soul.

VIOLA    But if she cannot love you, sir?

ORSINO    I cannot be so answered.

VIOLA    Sooth, but you must.

Say that some lady, as perhaps there is,

Hath for your love as great a pang of heart

As you have for Olivia: you cannot love her.

You tell her so. Must she not then be answered?96

ORSINO    There is no woman’s sides

Can bide98 the beating of so strong a passion

As love doth give my heart, no woman’s heart

So big, to hold so much. They lack retention.100

Alas, their love may be called appetite101,

No motion of the liver, but the palate102,

That suffer surfeit, cloyment and revolt.103

But mine104 is all as hungry as the sea,

And can digest as much. Make no compare105

Between that love a woman can bear me

And that I owe107 Olivia.

VIOLA    Ay, but I know—

ORSINO    What dost thou know?

VIOLA    Too well what love women to men may owe:

In faith, they are as true of heart as we.

My father had a daughter loved a man,

As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman,

I should your lordship.

ORSINO    And what’s her history?115

VIOLA    A blank, my lord. She never told her love,

But let concealment, like a worm i’th’bud,

Feed on her damask118 cheek: she pined in thought,

And with a green and yellow119 melancholy

She sat like patience on a monument120,

Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?

We men may say more, swear more, but indeed

Our shows are more than will, for still123 we prove

Much in our vows, but little in our love.

ORSINO    But died thy sister of her love, my boy?

VIOLA    I am all the daughters of my father’s house,

And all the brothers too, and yet I know not.

Sir, shall I to128 this lady?

ORSINO    Ay, that’s the theme.

Gives a jewel

To her in haste: give her this jewel: say

My love can give no place, bide no denay.131

Exeunt

Act 2 Scene 5

running scene 10

Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Fabian

SIR TOBY    Come thy ways1, Signior Fabian.

FABIAN    Nay, I’ll come. If I lose a scruple2 of this sport, let me

be boiled3 to death with melancholy.

SIR TOBY    Wouldst thou not be glad to have the niggardly4

rascally sheep-biter5 come by some notable shame?

FABIAN    I would exult, man. You know he brought me out

o’favour with my lady about a bear-baiting7 here.

SIR TOBY    To anger him we’ll have the bear again, and we will

fool him black and blue.9 Shall we not, Sir Andrew?

SIR ANDREW    An we do not, it is pity of our lives.10

Enter Maria

To Maria

SIR TOBY    Here comes the little villain.— How now,

my metal of India?12

MARIA    Get ye all three into the box-tree13: Malvolio’s coming

down this walk.14 He has been yonder i’the sun practising

behaviour15 to his own shadow this half hour. Observe him,

for the love of mockery, for I know this letter will make a

They hide

contemplative idiot of him. Close17, in the name of

jesting! Lie thou there, for here comes the trout that must be

caught with tickling.19

Puts a letter on the ground

Exit

↓Sir Toby and the others are not heard by Malvolio↓

Enter Malvolio

MALVOLIO    ’Tis but fortune, all is fortune. Maria once told me

she did affect me, and I have heard herself come thus near21,

that should she fancy22, it should be one of my complexion.

Besides, she uses23 me with a more exalted respect than

anyone else that follows24 her. What should I think on’t?

SIR TOBY    Here’s an overweening25 rogue!

FABIAN    O, peace! Contemplation makes a rare turkey-cock26

of him. How he jets under his advanced plumes!27

SIR ANDREW    ’Slight28, I could so beat the rogue!

SIR TOBY    Peace, I say.

MALVOLIO    To be Count Malvolio!

SIR TOBY    Ah, rogue!

SIR ANDREW    Pistol32 him, pistol him.

SIR TOBY    Peace, peace!

MALVOLIO    There is example for’t: the lady of the Strachy34

married the yeoman of the wardrobe.35

SIR ANDREW    Fie on him, Jezebel!36

FABIAN    O, peace! Now he’s deeply in37: look how imagination

blows him.38

MALVOLIO    Having been three months married to her, sitting in

my state40

SIR TOBY    O, for a stone-bow41 to hit him in the eye!

MALVOLIO    Calling my officers about me, in my branched42 velvet

gown, having come from a daybed43, where I have left Olivia

sleeping—

SIR TOBY    Fire and brimstone!

FABIAN    O, peace, peace!

MALVOLIO    And then to have the humour of state47, and after a

demure travel of regard48, telling them I know my place as I

would they should do theirs, to ask for my kinsman Toby49

SIR TOBY    Bolts and shackles!50

FABIAN    O peace, peace, peace! Now, now.

MALVOLIO    Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make52

out for him. I frown the while, and perchance53 wind up my

watch, or play with my—54 some rich jewel. Toby approaches;

curtsies55 there to me—

SIR TOBY    Shall this fellow live?

FABIAN    Though our silence be drawn from us with cars57, yet

peace.

MALVOLIO    I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my

familiar smile with an austere regard of control60

SIR TOBY    And does not Toby take61 you a blow o’the lips then?

MALVOLIO    Saying, ‘Cousin62 Toby, my fortunes having cast me

on your niece give me this prerogative63 of speech’—

SIR TOBY    What, what?

MALVOLIO    ‘You must amend your drunkenness.’

SIR TOBY    Out, scab!66

FABIAN    Nay, patience, or we break the sinews67 of our plot.

MALVOLIO    ‘Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a

foolish knight’—

SIR ANDREW    That’s me, I warrant you.

MALVOLIO    ‘One Sir Andrew’–

SIR ANDREW    I knew ’twas I, for many do call me fool.

Picks up the letter

MALVOLIO    What employment73 have we here?

FABIAN    Now is the woodcock near the gin.74

SIR TOBY    O, peace! And the spirit of humours intimate75

reading aloud to him.

MALVOLIO    By my life, this is my lady’s hand77 these be her very

C’s, her U’s and her T’s, and thus makes she her great P’s.78 It

is in contempt of79 question her hand.

SIR ANDREW    Her C’s, her U’s and her T’s. Why that?

Reads

MALVOLIO    ‘To the unknown beloved, this, and my good

wishes.’ Her very phrases! By your leave, wax. Soft! And the

impressure her Lucrece, with which she uses to seal.83 ’Tis my

lady. To whom should this be?

FABIAN    This wins him, liver85 and all.

Reads

MALVOLIO    ‘Jove knows I love,

But who?

Lips, do not move.

No man must know.’

‘No man must know.’ What follows? The numbers altered!90

‘No man must know.’ If this should be thee, Malvolio?

SIR TOBY    Marry, hang thee, brock!92

Reads

MALVOLIO    ‘I may command where I adore,

But silence, like a Lucrece knife94,

With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore:

M.O.A.I. doth sway96 my life.’

FABIAN    A fustian97 riddle!

SIR TOBY    Excellent wench, say I.

MALVOLIO    ‘M.O.A.I.