Away with him! Come,

come, sir.

ANTONIO    Lead me on.

Exit [with Officers]

Aside

VIOLA    Methinks his words do from such passion fly,

That he believes himself, so do not I.

Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,

That I, dear brother, be now ta’en for you!

SIR TOBY    Come hither, knight. Come hither, Fabian. We’ll

They stand aside

whisper o’er a couplet or two of most sage352

saws.353

VIOLA    He named Sebastian. I my brother know

Yet living in my glass355, even such and so

In favour was my brother, and he went356

Still in this fashion, colour, ornament357,

For him I imitate. O, if it prove358,

Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love.

[Exit]

SIR TOBY    A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward360

than a hare. His dishonesty appears in leaving his friend

here in necessity and denying him. And for his cowardship,

ask Fabian.

FABIAN    A coward, a most devout coward, religious364 in it.

SIR ANDREW    ’Slid365, I’ll after him again and beat him.

SIR TOBY    Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.

SIR ANDREW    An I do not—

FABIAN    Come, let’s see the event.368

SIR TOBY    I dare lay any money ’twill be nothing yet.369

Exeunt

Act 4 Scene 1

running scene 14

Enter Sebastian and Clown [Feste]

FESTE    Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?

SEBASTIAN    Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow.

Let me be clear of thee.

FESTE    Well held out4, i’faith! No, I do not know you, nor I

am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with

her, nor your name is not Master Cesario, nor this is not my

nose neither. Nothing that is so is so.

SEBASTIAN    I prithee vent8 thy folly somewhere else. Thou

know’st not me.

FESTE    Vent my folly! He has heard that word of10 some great

man and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid

this great lubber the world will prove a cockney.12 I prithee

now ungird thy strangeness13 and tell me what I shall vent to

my lady. Shall I vent to her that thou art coming?

Gives money

SEBASTIAN    I prithee, foolish Greek15, depart

from me. There’s money for thee. If you tarry16 longer, I shall

give worse payment.17

FESTE    By my troth, thou hast an open18 hand. These wise

men that give fools money get themselves a good report19—

after fourteen years’ purchase.20

Enter Andrew, Toby and Fabian

SIR ANDREW    Now, sir, have I met you again?

Strikes Sebastian

There’s for you.

SEBASTIAN    Why, there’s for thee, and there, and

Beats Sir Andrew

there. Are all the people mad?

SIR TOBY    Hold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger o’er the house.

FESTE    This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in26

some of your coats for twopence.

[Exit]

SIR TOBY    Come on, sir, hold.28

SIR ANDREW    Nay, let him alone. I’ll go another way to work with

him. I’ll have an action of battery30 against him, if there be

any law in Illyria. Though I struck him first, yet it’s no

matter for that.

SEBASTIAN    Let go thy hand.

SIR TOBY    Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young

soldier, put up your iron. You are well fleshed.35 Come on.

SEBASTIAN    I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now? If

thou darest tempt me further, draw thy sword.

SIR TOBY    What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two

of this malapert39 blood from you.

Enter Olivia

OLIVIA    Hold, Toby. On thy life I charge thee, hold!

SIR TOBY    Madam!

OLIVIA    Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,

Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,

Where manners ne’er were preached! Out of my sight!—

Be not offended, dear Cesario.—

Rudesby46, be gone!

[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Fabian]

      I prithee, gentle friend46,

Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway

In this uncivil and unjust extent48

Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,

And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks

This ruffian hath botched up51, that thou thereby

Mayst smile at this. Thou shalt not choose but go.

Do not deny. Beshrew53 his soul for me,

He started one poor heart54 of mine in thee.

Aside

SEBASTIAN    What relish55 is in this? How runs the stream?

Or56 I am mad, or else this is a dream.

Let fancy still my sense in Lethe57 steep.

If it be thus to dream, still58 let me sleep!

OLIVIA    Nay, come, I prithee. Would thou’dst59 be ruled by me!

SEBASTIAN    Madam, I will.

OLIVIA    O, say so, and so be!

Exeunt

Act 4 Scene 2

running scene 15

Enter Maria and Clown [Feste]

Hands him a gown and beard

MARIA    Nay, I prithee put on this gown and this

beard. Make him believe thou art Sir Topas2

the curate. Do it quickly. I’ll call Sir Toby the whilst.3

[Exit]

FESTE    Well, I’ll put it on, and I will dissemble4 myself in’t,

and I would I were the first that ever dissembled5 in such a

Puts on gown and beard

gown. I am not tall enough to become6 the

function7 well, nor lean enough to be thought a

good student. But to be said8 an honest man and a good

housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful9 man and a great

scholar. The competitors10 enter.

Enter Toby [and Maria]

SIR TOBY    Jove bless thee, Master Parson.

FESTE    Bonos dies, Sir Toby.