I
go, sir. But I would not have you to think that my desire of
having is the sin of covetousness. But as you say, sir, let your
bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon.
Exit
Enter Antonio and Officers
VIOLA Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me.
ORSINO That face of his I do remember well,
Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmeared
As black as Vulcan48 in the smoke of war.
A bawbling49 vessel was he captain of,
For shallow draught and bulk unprizeable50,
With which such scathful grapple51 did he make
With the most noble bottom52 of our fleet,
That very envy and the tongue of loss53
Cried fame and honour on him. What’s the matter?
FIRST OFFICER Orsino, this is that Antonio
That took the Phoenix and her fraught from Candy56,
And this is he that did the Tiger57 board
When your young nephew Titus lost his leg;
Here in the streets, desperate59 of shame and state,
In private brabble60 did we apprehend him.
VIOLA He did me kindness, sir, drew on my side61,
But in conclusion put strange speech upon me.62
I know not what ’twas but distraction.63
ORSINO Notable64 pirate! Thou salt-water thief!
What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies,
Whom thou, in terms so bloody and so dear66,
Hast made thine enemies?
ANTONIO Orsino, noble sir,
Be pleased that I69 shake off these names you give me.
Antonio never yet was thief or pirate,
Though I confess, on base71 and ground enough,
Orsino’s enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither.
That most ingrateful boy there by your side
From the rude74 sea’s enraged and foamy mouth
Did I redeem. A wreck past hope he was.
His life I gave him and did thereto add
My love, without retention77 or restraint,
All his in dedication.78 For his sake
Did I expose myself — pure79 for his love —
Into the danger of this adverse80 town,
Drew to defend him when he was beset,
Where being apprehended, his false cunning —
Not meaning to partake with me in danger —
Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance84,
And grew a twenty years removèd thing85
While one would wink, denied me mine own purse,
Which I had recommended87 to his use
Not half an hour before.
VIOLA How can this be?
ORSINO When came he to this town?
ANTONIO Today, my lord. And for three months before,
No interim, not a minute’s vacancy,
Both day and night did we keep company.
Enter Olivia and Attendants
ORSINO Here comes the countess. Now heaven walks on earth.
But for95 thee, fellow — fellow, thy words are madness.
Three months this youth hath tended upon me.
But more of that anon. Take him aside.
OLIVIA What would my lord, but that he may not have98,
Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?
Cesario, you do not keep promise with me.
VIOLA Madam?
ORSINO Gracious Olivia—
OLIVIA What do you say, Cesario? Good my lord103—
VIOLA My lord would speak, my duty hushes me.
OLIVIA If it be aught105 to the old tune, my lord,
It is as fat and fulsome106 to mine ear
As howling after music.
ORSINO Still so cruel?
OLIVIA Still so constant, lord.
ORSINO What, to perverseness? You uncivil110 lady,
To whose ingrate and unauspicious111 altars
My soul the faithfull’st offerings hath breathed out
That e’er devotion tendered!113 What shall I do?
OLIVIA Even what it please my lord that shall become114 him.
ORSINO Why should I not, had I the heart to do it,
Like to th’Egyptian thief116 at point of death,
Kill what I love? — a savage jealousy
That sometimes savours nobly.118 But hear me this:
Since you to non-regardance119 cast my faith,
And that120 I partly know the instrument
That screws121 me from my true place in your favour,
Live you the marble-breasted tyrant still.
But this your minion123, whom I know you love,
And whom, by heaven I swear, I tender124 dearly,
Him will I tear out of that cruel eye,
Where he sits crownèd in his master’s spite.126
Come, boy, with me. My thoughts are ripe in mischief127:
I’ll sacrifice the lamb that I do love,
To spite a raven’s heart within a dove.
Starts to leave
VIOLA And I, most jocund, apt130 and willingly,
To do you rest131, a thousand deaths would die.
Starts to leave
OLIVIA Where goes Cesario?
VIOLA After him I love
More than I love these eyes, more than my life,
More, by all mores135, than e’er I shall love wife.
If I do feign, you witnesses above
Punish my life for tainting of137 my love!
OLIVIA Ay me, detested! How am I beguiled!138
VIOLA Who does beguile you? Who does do you wrong?
OLIVIA Hast thou forgot thyself? Is it so long?
Call forth the holy father.
[Exit an Attendant]
To Viola
ORSINO Come, away!
OLIVIA Whither, my lord? Cesario, husband, stay.
ORSINO Husband?
OLIVIA Ay, husband. Can he that deny?
ORSINO Her husband, sirrah?146
VIOLA No, my lord, not I.
OLIVIA Alas, it is the baseness148 of thy fear
That makes thee strangle thy propriety149
Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up.
Be that151 thou know’st thou art, and then thou art
As great as that thou fear’st.152
Enter Priest
O, welcome, father!
Father, I charge thee by thy reverence
Here to unfold155, though lately we intended
To keep in darkness what occasion now
Reveals before ’tis ripe, what thou dost know
Hath newly passed between this youth and me.
PRIEST A contract of eternal bond of love,
Confirmed by mutual joinder160 of your hands,
Attested by the holy close161 of lips,
Strengthened by interchangement of your rings,
And all the ceremony of this compact163
Sealed in my function164, by my testimony.
Since when, my watch165 hath told me, toward my grave
I have travelled but two hours.
To Viola
ORSINO O thou dissembling cub! What wilt thou be
When time hath sowed a grizzle on thy case?168
Or will not else thy craft169 so quickly grow
That thine own trip170 shall be thine overthrow?
Farewell, and take her; but direct thy feet
Where thou and I henceforth may never meet.
VIOLA My lord, I do protest173—
OLIVIA O, do not swear!
Hold little faith175, though thou hast too much fear.
Enter Sir Andrew
His head bleeding
SIR ANDREW For the love of God, a surgeon! Send one presently176
to Sir Toby.
OLIVIA What’s the matter?
SIR ANDREW H’as broke179 my head across and has given Sir Toby
a bloody coxcomb180 too. For the love of God, your help! I had
rather than forty pound I were at home.
OLIVIA Who has done this, Sir Andrew?
SIR ANDREW The count’s gentleman, one Cesario. We took him
for a coward, but he’s the very devil incardinate.184
ORSINO My gentleman, Cesario?
SIR ANDREW ’Od’s lifelings186, here he is! You broke my head for
nothing, and that that I did, I was set on to do’t by Sir Toby.
VIOLA Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you.
You drew your sword upon me without cause,
But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not.
Enter Toby and Clown [Feste]
Sir Toby wounded
SIR ANDREW If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me. I
think you set nothing by192 a bloody coxcomb. Here comes Sir
Toby halting. You shall hear more. But if he had not been in193
drink, he would have tickled you othergates194 than he did.
ORSINO How now, gentleman? How is’t with you?
SIR TOBY That’s all one: h’as hurt me, and there’s th’end on’t.196
Sot197, didst see Dick surgeon, sot?
FESTE O, he’s drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone.198 His eyes
were set199 at eight i’th’morning.
SIR TOBY Then he’s a rogue, and a passy measures pavin.200 I
hate a drunken rogue.
OLIVIA Away with him! Who hath made this havoc with
them?
SIR ANDREW I’ll help you, Sir Toby, because we’ll be dressed204
together.
SIR TOBY Will you help? An ass-head and a coxcomb206 and a
knave, a thin-faced knave, a gull!207
OLIVIA Get him to bed, and let his hurt be looked to.
[Exeunt Feste, Fabian, Sir Toby and Sir Andrew]
Enter Sebastian
SEBASTIAN I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman.
But, had it been the brother of my blood210,
I must have done no less with wit and safety.211
You throw a strange regard212 upon me, and by that
I do perceive it hath offended you.
Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows
We made each other but so late ago.
ORSINO One face, one voice, one habit216, and two persons,
A natural perspective217, that is and is not!
SEBASTIAN Antonio, O my dear Antonio!
How have the hours racked219 and tortured me,
Since I have lost thee!
ANTONIO Sebastian are you?
SEBASTIAN Fear’st222 thou that, Antonio?
ANTONIO How have you made division of yourself?
An apple cleft in two is not more twin
Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian?
OLIVIA Most wonderful!
Sees Viola
SEBASTIAN Do I stand there? I never had a brother,
Nor can there be that deity228 in my nature
Of here and everywhere.229 I had a sister,
Whom the blind230 waves and surges have devoured.
Of charity231, what kin are you to me?
What countryman? What name? What parentage?
VIOLA Of Messaline. Sebastian was my father,
Such a Sebastian was my brother too,
So went he suited235 to his watery tomb.
If spirits can assume both form and suit236
You come to fright us.
SEBASTIAN A spirit I am indeed,
But am in that dimension grossly clad239
Which from the womb I did participate.240
Were you a woman, as the rest goes even241,
I should my tears let fall upon your cheek,
And say ‘Thrice-welcome, drownèd Viola!’
VIOLA My father had a mole upon his brow.
SEBASTIAN And so had mine.
VIOLA And died that day when Viola from her birth
Had numbered thirteen years.
SEBASTIAN O, that record is lively248 in my soul!
He finished indeed his mortal act
That day that made my sister thirteen years.
VIOLA If nothing lets251 to make us happy both
But this my masculine usurped attire,
Do not embrace me till each circumstance
Of place, time, fortune, do cohere and jump254
That I am Viola — which to confirm,
I’ll bring you to a captain in this town,
Where lie my maiden weeds257, by whose gentle help
I was preserved to serve this noble count.
All the occurrence of my fortune since
Hath been between this lady and this lord.
To Olivia
SEBASTIAN So comes it, lady, you have been mistook.261
But nature to her bias drew262 in that.
You would have been contracted263 to a maid,
Nor are you therein, by my life, deceived,
You are betrothed both to a maid and man.
To Olivia
ORSINO Be not amazed; right noble is his blood.—
Aside?
If this be so, as yet the glass267 seems true,
I shall have share in this most happy268 wreck.—
To Viola
Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times
Thou never shouldst love woman like to270 me.
VIOLA And all those sayings will I overswear271;
And all those swearings keep as true in soul
As doth that orbèd continent273 the fire
That severs day from night.
ORSINO Give me thy hand,
And let me see thee in thy woman’s weeds.
VIOLA The captain that did bring me first on shore
Hath my maid’s garments. He upon some action278
Is now in durance279, at Malvolio’s suit,
A gentleman, and follower of my lady’s.
OLIVIA He shall enlarge281 him. Fetch Malvolio hither.
And yet, alas, now I remember me282,
They say, poor gentleman, he’s much distract.283
Enter Clown [Feste] with a letter, and Fabian
A most extracting frenzy284 of mine own
From my remembrance clearly banished his.285
How does he, sirrah?
FESTE Truly, madam, he holds Beelzebub at the stave’s end287
as well as a man in his case may do. H’as here writ a letter to
you; I should have given’t you today289 morning, but as a
madman’s epistles are no gospels, so it skills290 not much when
they are delivered.291
OLIVIA Open’t, and read it.
FESTE Look then to be well edified when the fool delivers293
Reads
the madman. ‘By the lord, madam’—
OLIVIA How now, art thou mad?
FESTE No, madam, I do but read madness. An your
ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow vox.297
OLIVIA Prithee read i’thy right wits.
FESTE So I do, madonna. But to read his right wits299 is to
read thus: therefore perpend300, my princess, and give ear.
To Fabian, who takes the letter
OLIVIA Read it you, sirrah.
FABIAN Reads
‘By the lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shall
know it. Though you have put me into darkness and given
your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of
my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter
that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which306 I
doubt not but to do myself much right, or you much shame.
Think of me as you please. I leave my duty308 a little unthought
of and speak out of my injury.309
The madly-used Malvolio.’
OLIVIA Did he write this?
FESTE Ay, madam.
ORSINO This savours not much of distraction.
OLIVIA See him delivered314, Fabian, bring him hither.
[Exit Fabian]
My lord, so please you, these things further thought on315,
To think me as well a sister as a wife316,
One day shall crown th’alliance317 on’t, so please you,
Here at my house and at my proper318 cost.
ORSINO Madam, I am most apt319 t’embrace your offer.—
To Viola
Your master quits320 you. And for your service done him,
So much against the mettle321 of your sex,
So far beneath your soft and tender breeding,
And since you called me master for so long,
Here is my hand. You shall from this time be
Your master’s mistress.
OLIVIA A sister! You are she.
Enter Malvolio [and Fabian]
ORSINO Is this the madman?
OLIVIA Ay, my lord, this same.—
How now, Malvolio?
MALVOLIO Madam, you have done me wrong,
Notorious wrong.
OLIVIA Have I, Malvolio? No.
Hands her the letter
MALVOLIO Lady, you have. Pray you peruse that letter.
You must not now deny it is your hand.334
Write from it335, if you can, in hand or phrase,
Or say ’tis not your seal, not your invention.336
You can say none of this.
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